Happy Singles Awareness Day

Good evening folks.  Those of you who follow me on Twitter may know this already, but in case you hadn’t heard yet: I, with my infinite clumsiness, managed to fall on my wood stairs and break my nose on sunday.  *sigh*  Yeah… Spent a few hours in the emergency room, only to be told by the doctor that there wasn’t much to be done except apply ice and take lots of pain medication.

As you might be able to imagine, I spent most of today trying to rest, while also trying to get some homework done.  I didn’t really have the energy to write much for the blog today, but I just saw this, and HAD to share it with you.

It’s a poem by the awesome social media guru Kristen Lamb, written ‘specially for all the single people who dread Valentine’s Day.  Let me tell you how much I enjoy Valentine’s Day: I’m single, have been for a few years, I traditionally wear black on Valentine’s Day just to be obnoxious, and this year I have a broken nose and two black eyes. Oh Joy.  So, yeah, this poem: brilliant.

Enjoy. And then go check out Kristen Lamb’s original post: here.

Twas the Night Before Valentines…by Kristen Lamb

Twas the night before Valentines, and all through the land

The poor single people were wringing their hands

Handcuffs were hung by the nighties with care

Near the lotions and chocolates and mint underwear.

A day made by Hallmark to sell lots of stuff

Pushing candies and kittens and kisses and fluff

A day that makes “Single” a social disease

Like bubonic or typhoid or chiggers or fleas

And that fat baby Cupid must be on the take

Paid in buckets of cash and red velvet cake.

Love songs are played on every damn station

As “mush” takes over our entire nation.

Now not that we’re jaded, us single-type folk

We’ve tried Facebook and Match, and Equally-Yoked

We’ve tried parks and clubs and churches and bars

And a handful resorted to wishing on stars.

Like most other people, we want company

Without drama or fighting or disharmony.

No Jerry Springer or Kardashian drama

We have no time for all of that trauma.

Maybe we’re picky, world-weary, or fussy

Because we won’t date any Joe Schmo or hussy.

We want someone good-looking, gentle and sweet.

Hey, just cuz we’re single doesn’t make us minced meat.

We don’t begrudge the romance of others

The passion of courtship, the heat between lovers.

Before you judge my singular state

Think back to the days when YOU had to date.

Tomorrow we’ll stand in the grocery store line

Behind the husband with a bottle of wine

And a “Get-Well” bouquet cuz he waited too late

To find the red roses to give to his mate.

Hallmark has trained you to scurry and dash

Into its stores with fistfuls of cash.

For stuffed little critters with a lap full of love

And boxes of chocolate morsels from Dove.

Singles won’t stand hours waiting to dine

On elf food with garnish and overpriced wine.

No chocolates with abnormal tropical middles

Or angst about thighs that may wiggle and jiggle.

No staying in bars desperately late

Trying to connect with a last-minute date.

So embrace your status and shout it out loud.

Yes, I am single! Single and Proud!

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9 thoughts on “Happy Singles Awareness Day

  1. You know what’s more sad then all that??? I’ve been single so long I forgot Valentines day was tomorrow so here’s to you my blogger friend as long as I’m around I’ll be you Valentines friend a toast to us with butter and all I promise to catch you next time you fall. Lol happy Valentines artpiecemalpasso

      • I had a day, whether or not good, Is still up for debate. Hope your nose feels better, and keep kicking ass at school, our intellect will define our overall life out come, and will increase our positioning in the overall dynamic of society. Sorry, best wishes artpiecemalpasso

  2. As I said on the Twitters, I really couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day. It’s really only a holiday if you happen to be dating someone.

    But anyway, this poem is pretty awesome. I’d say if we are going to call singleness a disease, we should call it chronic bacheloritis. At least until we find the pathogen that causes the disorder…then the discoverer has dibs 😛

  3. Ah, hugs and kisses for you and your broken nose and black eyes! How comically tragic (hope you take that in the warm way I mean it…). I was a longtime single who LOVED(s) the colors of this holiday. I’m not all into the commercial spending, but I adore the reds, pinks and purples of the decorations. My mom and Grandma always made it a special day growing up, so I really got the “love” part without it being a romantic-specific thing. Thanks for all the happiness you bring into my life – as a reader – and hope that the fan-love helps sooth your broken face. Seriously. Also, more hugs.

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