It’s February 1st, and for some reason that I can’t really explain I feel more inclined toward new beginnings and resolutions and all that NOW than I did on January 1st. I don’t know why, and its weird, but what can you do? Perhaps its all the reading I’ve been doing. I read Kristen Lamb’s book We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media, which I am currently trying to put into a practice (slowly). I’m in the middle of reading another how-to guide: Writing the Broadway Musical by Aaron Frankel, which is very interesting, and is fuel for my largely delusional desire to someday write a musical on top of all the novels I have stuffed in my brain.
I’m also still reading Kimiko Hahn’s The Narrow Road to the Interior. I’ve been reading through it slowly and carefully, taking notes in the process, because I’m writing a paper on Hahn’s use of the zuihitsu form and how it might be applied to postmodern literature. But as I read it, I am also continually struck by the passion in Hahn’s work. And her life. The way that, despite her doubts, despite her fears and insecurities, she keeps moving, living as fully as she can. And I don’t feel like I do that very often. Or at all, really.
All of these things make me feel more strongly that I need to change something, do something, start something, BE something. Because I don’t feel like I’m much of anything right now. And that’s just plain ridiculous, because I’ve got all sorts of plans and ideas screaming to get out of my head. And I think its time to start letting them have their say.
So, I’m in process of figuring out how I can follow the advice in Kristen Lamb’s book so that I can start making my presence known even before I’ve finished a novel. And I’m also trying my hardest to actually FINISH THAT NOVEL. And lastly, I’m making some plans to start some new things, something to make me feel like I’m actually LIVING my life. Because right now, I don’t feel like I am. But I aim to change that.